Several years ago, in the middle of my church-led reconciliation attempt, we were in a meeting with several church leaders who had been trying to put our cracked marriage back together.
And one of the men said this, “My prayer is that someday down the road, our prayers will be answered for a miracle and I will be able to tell other couples who are on the verge of breaking up to go talk to you two…that your marriage and lives will be shining trophies for Jesus.”
I knew he meant well. Every person who told me they were “praying for a miracle” meant well. But this is what I said in response, “Please take this with all due respect, but whether or not this marriage ends, I fully intend for my children and for me to live lives that are shining trophies for Jesus. If this marriage ends, my kids and I will not be straddled with God’s plan B for the rest of our lives.”
I had so many people tell me that they were praying for a miracle. And when they said this, they meant only one thing: that my then-husband would come around, and that we’d reconcile. I want to be careful not to discount that because yes, if we would’ve reconciled, that would have been a miracle; trust me.
But here’s what I know now that I didn’t know then: reconciliation wasn’t the only miracle for our situation. I was programmed to believe that it was, but it wasn’t.
(Do not get me wrong: RECONCILIATION IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF EVERY HURTING MARRIAGE and I AM NOT A PROPONENT OF DIVORCE.)
But think about the implications of staunchly believing reconciliation is the only miracle. If […]