I recently watched two coaches from the sidelines. Both spoke truth to their players, which I believe is essential for growth.
But one was kind and the other was…well, not always as kind. One affirmed all equally, one had clear favorites.
The players and team morale flourished under the leadership of the kind truth. The other team, I believe, flourished despite. Because one was building up spirits, and the other tended to break them from time to time.
I have had the opportunity to be mentored by a few good women over my lifetime. But I think of two in particular. Both spoke truth to their mentorees, which I believe is absolutely necessary for transformation.
But one was gentle and the other was harsh.
The exact same concept was imparted to me, in completely opposite ways.
Harsh: I’M NOT SAYING IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT BUT I AM SAYING YOU PLAYED A PART IN YOUR SITUATION!
Gentle: You may want to ask Jesus to show you what you could’ve done differently.
You better believe I bristled at the ALL CAPS EMAIL and breathed in deep gulps of air and mercy with the tender whispers of compassion, both trying to tell me the same thing: take a look inside and own your part. And you better believe I didn’t quite do what the harsh person asked me to, because I instead became so voraciously defensive it drowned out her ALL CAPS words. But you also better believe I did exactly what my gentle mentor suggested, begging the Spirit to speak to me…and he did…and I looked in…and I owned things…and I was transformed.
Someone recently read an email that I sent to someone else. This email was brief, to the point, filled with […]